My idol growing up had a unique way of stitching himself up when he had a bad cut or gash.  He used super-glue.  Sounds strange, but it really does work.  There even is a medical grade super-glue that is specifically made for the skin.  But, when that’s not handy, plain ol super that anyone can buy at the store is good enough.  So, early on in my career, I’d say it was even one of my first five matches, I had a pretty gnarly gash on the side of my head.  I was in Raeford, NC.  It was late one random Saturday night and I was wrestling in front of probably ten people in a ladder match.  A perfect way for a 19 year old to spend his weekend.  Well, in this ladder match, I took a pretty hard shot to my head from the ladder and instantly felt that cool drip, drop of blood hit my face.  There’s nothing like the feel and smell of fresh blood.  It instantly will put you in a myriad of emotions and thoughts running through your head and the first one that always hits me is, “am I gonna need stitches?”

The match ended and I went to the back to access the damage and sure enough, it was pretty bad and judging by it’s look, I’d have probably needed four to five stitches.  Now, my options were, a) try to find the closest hospital and that would probably be a pretty tough task seeing as we were in the middle of fuckin nowhere or b) try my hand at the ol super-glue trick.  I chose super-glue.  It was cheaper, it was faster and by gosh, it was manlier.  And hell, if it was good enough for my idol, then it was good enough for me.

It’s actually very effective and easy.   After finally obtaining some super-glue, I pushed my gash together, laid a strip of super-glue and held it together.  Viola!  This was the first time I had used super-glue to heal a cut on myself.  But definitely not my last.  Since then, I had the pleasure of super-gluing my lip and the area under my lip together.  Once, I did it in some tiny town in Indiana after a ladder match with JC Bailey (RIP and hell, he always did say “STITCHES ARE FOR BITCHES, WEAR THE SCARS!) and once in Philadelphia after Jimmy Rave knocked out my front tooth (well, he didn’t, the guardrail did, but he was an accessory).  Never once did I ever imagine that I would be doing the same to Teddy Hart many years later.  Yes, I super-glued Teddy Hart’s armpit together.  Let me start at the beginning of my very first trip to Germany back in 2006.

Seconds before the end of the table snapped back and busted me open right under my bottom lip. Hello super-glue. RIP JC Bailey. 10/2/03.

I had never been to Germany and was excited to add another country to the list of my world travels.  This would be a short trip that only included one show in a small town called Rough.  I would literally be in and out of Germany in a mere few days.  Rough was famous for it’s asparagus.  I’d say it’s only been maybe five years since I realized asparagus makes your pee smell.  Pee-U.  Promoter Andre Hain was behind a very expensive and elaborate show that included a big arena with large lights rigs.  It included a huge roster of talent that included some of the best talent in Europe and some excellent international talent.  The list Included myself, Monty Brown, Ruckus, Robbie Mireno, and Teddy Hart.

Fine Indian silk shorts.

 

Teddy Hart is one of the most eccentric, interesting, entertaining, and creative people you will ever meet.  I could add maybe a hundred other adjectives to describe Teddy, but to really understand him is to meet him.  One meeting and you will understand what kind of personality he is.  I always enjoyed Teddy from the first day I met him in 2003.  We hit it off that night in Florida.  Maybe it was flattery as he told me he loved my sideburns and abs.  Well, nice to meet you too.  And I will give credit where credit is due.  He had some bitchin sideburns and his abs were also very crisp.  We worked together a handful of times, but never as the Doctor/Patient relationship that we would have on that fateful night in Germany.  I recall Teddy asking to specifically room with Monty this trip.  Huh?  Teddy and Monty knew each other, but were far from BFFs, so why he requested to room with Monty was beyond me, but I guess you can chalk it up to another one of those things that Teddy does.  Monty and Teddy couldn’t be more opposites, so this roomie situation would be interesting to say the least.  What makes them so different?

“Hello ma’am, may I please have a number 5 with a diet coke? You look lovely today.”

 

First of all, I want to say that Monty is one of the most down to earth, nicest human beings I have ever met in this wacky world of pro wrestling.  He wasn’t like most wrestlers, he was normal.  He was well educated, a successful business owner, and as he become more and more popular and a bigger name in wrestling, he most importantly, could differentiate the two worlds.  Wrestling and real life.  Monty Brown the wrestler and Monty Brown the person.  It’s a very difficult thing to be able to differentiate the two worlds and for many in wrestling, the fantasy bleeds into reality which in turn blurs their reality and who they really are as a person.  This can wreck havoc on a person’s real life.  Monty never let the two transcend and I think that is what made us so close.  Oh, and did I mention Monty was also a star in the NFL?  He even competed in Superbowl XXVIII playing for the Buffalo Bills.  Monty was a huge wrestling fan and as soon as his football career ended due to an ankle injury, he sought out training to become a pro wrestler.  After making a few appearances for TNA in 2002, he sort of vanished, perfecting his craft on the independent scene.  When he returned in 2004, I was well into my first year with the company.  That was when we first met and really hit it off.  We even roomed together many Wednesday nights after our weekly PPV events.  I got to know the real Monty, who was soft spoken, funny, extremely charming and personable.  And to top it off, he was always dressed to impress.  I guess his TV persona was much like that, just turned up 1000 notches.

A funny story I always remember about Monty is when we would head to Wendy’s for food late after the show when the doors were locked and only the drive-through was open.  Monty is a huge man, I mean, he was an ex-NFL star, so can you imagine this man walking up to the drive-through at Wendys?  Well, that was our weekly Wednesday night dinner after the show.  The Wendy’s was pretty much connected to the Super 8 motel we stayed at, so based on convenience and the fact it was the only thing open, we would walk on over and order at the drive-through.  Now, I’m not sure if the employees were scared of this massive human being or because he was so damn smooth and charming, but we were never refused service.  Usually you need a car to order at the drive-through, right??  So, on the flip side, there was a week that Monty was not in town, so I decided to walk through the drive-through myself.  And guess what?  They refused me service, I guess I needed a car to order… or Monty Brown.  I even pleaded my case saying “But, I’m with Monty every week!  Please help!”  It fell on deaf ears.

Monty really excelled at pro wrestling and skyrocketed to the top of TNA and eventually signed a contract with the WWE.  Some family issue derailed Monty’s time in WWE, so sadly he left after a short run.  He never reached the heights that he was well on his way to reach.  I was fortunate enough to run into Monty a couple years back at a convention and we gave each other a big hug and exchanged numbers.  It had been years since I had seen him.  I’ll never forget Monty.  He was an incredible person who left pro wrestling the same way he entered it, with class.

So, Teddy Hart?  As I said, there’s hundreds of adjective that are synonyms to crazy and interesting that can describe Teddy.  But, most recently, one of the best Teddy Hart stories has surfaced.  He is training his cat to do moonsaults and become a pro wrestler.  And for that reason alone, I still love Teddy Hart!  Although to be fair, we had one very tumultuous night that almost ended in fisticuffs.  And that’s not the night I had to super-glue his armpit shut.